Stranger in a strange land, part 1
It is now 5 and a half years ago that I first set foot on American soil, on July 4th 2004. After that things went kind of fast, and since September of 2006 I am officially a resident of the United States. You would think that after all that time I wouldn't really feel like a stranger anymore, and most of the time I don't. But still there are certain things that I will never get used to. For somebody that grew up in The Netherlands, the US can be a strange place to live. And I'm not talking about the fact that there are 12 McDonalds restaurants within a 10 mile radius of my house, or the fact that some stores here are open 24/7, but more about the way people think.
Something that strikes me as odd for example, is the same-sex marriage issue in The States. The Netherlands, as always being very liberal, made it possible for gay people to get married on April 1st, 2001. And I'm not talking about some fake marriage, but a full blown marriage, with the right to adopt kids. In the USA, it was illegal to be gay for the longest time, until Illinois was the first state to abandon those laws in 1961, but then it took until 1969 for Connecticut to follow, and most other states didn't follow until somewhere in the 1970's.
Anyway, to get to the point, to me it seems really strange that there are numerous states in which you can get married to a first cousin, but only about 7 or 8 where gay people can get married. The map below, taken from The New York Times, shows it:
Surprisingly, in West-Virginia marriage between cousins is not allowed.
The anti-same-sex marriage movement is big and powerful in the US, and they have tons of arguments against it. Most of these arguments stem from religious grounds. People from The Netherlands that read this, should probably be aware of the fact that even the most liberal states in the US would be marked 'bible belt' by Dutch standards. Seriously, the so called 'bible belt' in The Netherlands is probably more progressive then downtown San Francisco.
On of the most heard arguments is that same-sex marriage would somehow pull down the value of a marriage. Although divorce statistics say otherwise, Americans say that they value a marriage really high. The argument of course is bogus, because I don't see why somebodies marriage could devaluate someone elses, but apparently not everybody follows that logic.
I've found out that even discussing the subject makes a lot of Americans feel really uncomfortable, and I know I'm probably going to end up getting some negative comments on this one. Most Dutch people though live by the general rule that anybody can do whatever he or she wants as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else. I'm happily married, and not gay (thought I'd point that out here), and I love my family, and that is not going to change because other people that love each other (and happen to be gay) are being allowed to get married. Please drop your rants and raves in the comments.
By the way, Albert Einstein was married to his first cousin.
Truly, there are many Americans that feel the same way, and I am one of them. I have some good friends, and relatives, that would be glad to be able to get married, but can’t. I believe they should be able to. Do your parents feel the same way?
Zo jij durft, ow misschien is het ietwat meer beleefd om in het engels te antwoorden? denk het wel he, met tekstfouten en al dan maar lol
ehmm as John’s sister in law, from Holland, witch implicates that iám allowed to make mistakes in writing English (we can not all be so good at it as John is, and i dont think that a lot of you people over there can write in Dutch, so i feel very comfertable to make mistakes big grin)
i totaly agree with the point John is making over here, it is so strange that cultures who seem at first sight so the same, can be, at second site so differend, i realy want to see John, in his far more better english than mine, try to explain to me the problem that Americans have with the plans of Obama in getter a better health programme in the US.
what is the problem people, sure you have to pay money to be better insured, we over here in Holland do this every month, but when you get sick, realy sick, there will always be the best docter avialable for you, with the best education, and it doesnt cost you nothing, you do not have to sell youre house when you have cancer, you do not, as my sister in law, have to take care of youre househould, 4 days after you had a ceaserion (is this the right word??) no, when you are giving birth in Holland you get a nurse in the house for almost 8 days to help taking care of you and the new baby, and dont get me wrong, we are not rich people, it is just what everybody gets here, because we are paying every month … nobody has to die, or has to leave his house because of high docters bills …
nice people over there and iám sure i will be enoying my stay over there this summer again, very mutch … but strange, yes, very strange ..
big kis and lots of love to all who are in my hart over there, in far far away land
Brenda